It's Not What You Say…
Isn't it amazing how smart our parents have become, as we have gotten older? Perhaps your parents recommended all those years ago that you think before you speak. This advice, if we followed it, allowed us to put our best self forward while at the same time taking into consideration the feelings of those around us.
Such advice directly correlates to business. Business is about securing and building powerful, healthy, long-term relationships, and a large part of relationship building is how we speak with one another. Most of us are familiar with the phrase "it is not what you say; it is how you say it." But how many of us actually weigh our words? In a world where we have become so efficient, have we lost our ability to connect with one another effectively? It is imperative we are clear about our intentions before speaking so that we may not only deliver a succinct message but deliver it in a human, relationship-based manner. This is not "touchy feely." Rather, it is simply what works in regards to maintaining a person-to-person connection. With this in mind please consider these phrases:
General:
The word "and" connects thought. The words "but" and "however" negate what proceeds them. If you are going to use "but" or "however," use them to create a positive link, such as: This is not usually done but…
I Have A Problem vs. I Have A Concern, Issue or Challenge
Issues we can deal with. Concerns are manageable. Challenges we can overcome, but problems weigh us down. If an individual is sharing an issue with you, consider saying I appreciate your concern and…
I Disagree vs. I Appreciate Your Point of View And…
Appreciating another's point of view keeps your conversation moving along. The individual you are communicating with will stay open to listening to your point of view. Once you say, "I disagree," you have drawn a line between you and the individual to whom you are speaking.
It's My Job vs. That's What I Am Here For
If you tell someone that the reason you are helping him or her is because it is your job, it implies that if it was not your job you would not offer them the time of day.
To Be Honest…
When you say to be honest, does that mean that everything you say that is unqualified is not true?
I Lied vs. I Mis-spoke
Let's face it: everyone misspeaks every now and then, and thus it is easily forgiven. But lying speaks directly to your character. Always when necessary tell your guest you mis-spoke rather than you lied.
Let's face it: everyone misspeaks every now and then, and thus it is easily forgiven. But lying speaks directly to your character. Always when necessary tell your guest you mis-spoke rather than you lied.
I Agree vs. That's True
Just because you agree with someone, it does not necessarily make what you are agreeing with true.
You Said vs. I Understood You To Say….
Accusatory language only escalates an already volatile situation. Employing I ownership language and making empathetic statements allows you to keep things civil. Remember,
I understand does not mean I agree.
I understand does not mean I agree.
Leadership Specific:
Let Me Offer You Some Constructive Criticism vs. Let Me Offer You Some Feedback
No matter how constructive criticism is, it is still received as criticism. Feedback, however, is designed to help and is most often understood as such.
You Didn't Disappoint Me vs. You Did A Great Job
When we place the focus on not disappointing rather than the great job accomplished, the individual to whom the message is directed will focus on the disappointment message and not the praise. Also, by flipping this around the individual being praised is the focus and not the individual offering the praise.
The Consequences of Your Actions Are vs. The Outcomes of Your Actions Are
Consequences of action are perceived as negative while outcomes are perceived as neutral.
Employees vs. Team Members, Family Members
Thinking and acting like your "employees" are either team members or family members creates ownership and a sense of personal pride. An employee punches in, punches out, and goes home.
Work With vs. Work For
If your "team members" view you as someone who works with them you will have significantly more influence with them.
Failure Is Not An Option vs. Success Is The Only Option
By stating that failure is not an option, people will focus on failure. What we focus on we tend to create. Stating that success is the only option allows success to become the focal point of the message conveyed.
Guest Service Specific:
Our Guest vs. Our Customer
When your customers are viewed as such they are seen as dollars. When they are thought of as guests they are treated as special.
Where Have You Been vs. It's Great To See You
Asking, "Where have you been?" may put your guest on the defense, while telling a guest that it is great to see him or her will make them feel welcome and produce positive results.
I Don't Know vs. Let Me Find Out For You
I don't know strands your guest while saying let me find out furthers the action which helps create greater guest satisfaction.
A complaint implies the guest is difficult, while a concern suggests your guest cares enough about your success to inform you. How you view these two as an organization will dramatically determine how issues are resolved.
I Don't Know Who Told You That vs. The Most Current Information I Have Is…
Instead of throwing another team member under the bus and possibly making your organization look incompetent, inform your guest that you will be happy to offer them the most up to date information available.
Don't Hesitate To Call vs. Feel Free To Call
Remember, the idea is to phrase your message in the most positive way. Considering people will negate the word don't, the message received is hesitate… Saying, feel free to call is a cleaner, clearer message.
The advice offered by our parents is as good now as it was all those years ago. Choose your words carefully and remember all that is spoken by you represents you, your heritage and your organization.
If you would like to contribute an idea for an up coming article or want more information about the many services I provide through Peter Scott's Competitive Edge please visit my web site at www.PsCompetitiveEdge.com.
Until next time, continue to strive for excellence!
Peter Scott
Until next time, continue to strive for excellence!
Peter Scott
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